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Lazy Pig Pasta

This is an incredibly quick and easy one to prepare. It's ideal for warm summer evenings when you think you have no appetite and suddenly realise that you're "hangry" after the cool air drifts in or after a gruelling day yet hungry mouths feel no compassion in the way that they stare at you, expecting you to feed them well, naturally, as always.


The version I prefer uses fresh tagliatelle. But, of course, if you had a really crappy day, you'll not have any fresh tagliatelle in. Fear not, it works with many forms of bog-standard dried pastas.


This recipe is for two to three adults. You do the sums based on the number of pairs of eyes piercing your soul in hungry expectation.


Shopping list


For the pesto - if you're doing it fresh, see below

  • 200g sundried tomatoes

  • 50g sunflower seeds, shelled

  • 250g ricotta

  • 20ml extra virgin olive oil

  • 4 cloves of garlic, peeled

  • 3 to 4 red chillies, very finely chopped


For the dish

  • Approx. 250g bacon lardons — smoked or unsmoked bacon is not the issue here (you decide) it's actually about the size of the lardons. For this recipe they should be large, generously cut with a lot of the fat left on. You gain nothing by going for fancier smoked meats in this particular case.

  • Approx. 300g fresh tagliatelle or the dried equivalent. While tagliatelle is my personal recommendation for this dish, it works well with any other more robust pasta (bucatini, paccheri, manicotti, etc.). But, if in a bugger-off-I've-just-steeped-in-the-door mode, it works with practically any pasta

  • 3 cloves of fresh garlic, crushed or finely chopped/grated

  • Two medium brown or red onions, cubed

  • Approx. 150g of fresh or frozen peas (broad beans or mange tout work perfectly well as alternatives)

  • Three to four tablespoons of mushroom ketchup— if you don't have this astounding ingredient, use either 1 vegetable stock jelly or cube diluted in about ¼ cup of boiling water, no more

  • Freshly ground black pepper and a smidgen of cinnamon

  • 1 tspn of brown sugar

  • Extra virgin olive oil

  • A little grated hard cheese such as Parmigiano-Reggiano, Grana Padano or Pecorino; optional


Cooking method


pesto

Make the pesto first. You can do this before and store it in an airtight container in the fridge. Otherwise assume you're making it at the same time as per the recipe below.

  1. Add all of the ingredients to a blender or food processor (or do it by hand in a large pestle and mortar if you're "old school") and blend until smooth-ish. Decant and allow to return to room temperature

  2. What you don't use on this dish— and you really shouldn't use it all if made using these measures—can be stored in the fridge safely for a few days and used later in a variety of ways. For example, pimp your cheese toastie, smearing it on a slice of bread before covering with a slice of cheese and melting under the grill and you'll be glad you made the effort.

Alternatively, if you really want to put the "lazy" into this recipe, a good quality readymade red pesto to preference (tomato, sundried tomato, chilli or any combination thereof) will be perfectly fine.


The dish

  1. Heat enough olive oil in a large frying pan with a lid to thinly coat the bottom. When it is sufficiently hot, add the onions, stirring regularly. A tip for this dish is that you should perhaps hold off adding the garlic a little later than you might with other pasta sauces. Above all, you don't actually want the garlic to brown or burn.

  2. Stir the onions and garlic regularly, covering and allowing both to sweat

  3. Before the onions and garlic brown, add the bacon lardons, ensuring that all sides are coated. One of the things you should expect from large, thick lardons (a reason to not use things like pancetta) is that they will release a fair amount of liquid as you stir. In it's water-like initial form, it's useless. But, once you have reduced all of its flavours back into your ingredients you'll understand it serves a valuable purpose

  4. To this liquid, add the mushroom ketchup (or stock jelly/stock cube diluted in very little boiling water), the ground black pepper and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Stir the contents gently but thoroughly . Replace the lid and allow the mixture to simmer furiously, stirring, if needed to prevent sticking for about 10mins

  5. To reduce the liquid, add the brown sugar, stir in thoroughly, ensuring that it entirely dissolves in the hot liquid. Cook the contents with the lid off the pan to assist reduction until the jus is thickened, but not entirely evaporated

  6. Steam the peas or green legumes of choice in a microwave or by more traditional method, ensuring its being cooked coincides with the pasta being ready

  7. During the final stages of reducing the onion, garlic and lardons, bring a pot of salted water to the boil. Once boiling furiously, add the pasta. It should take 4mins if using fresh tagliatelle or anywhere from 7 to 12 mins to cook perfectly if using dried pasta (Check for more specific guidance on pasta cooking times on the packaging)

  8. When cooked al dente, drain the pasta and return to the pot, stirring in the pesto to taste. Add the contents of the frying pan, the onions and lardons, then the peas. Stir in gently using a wooden spoon

  9. Plate and serve. Dress with your grated cheese of choice if desired

  10. Serve with a simple salad of choice in warmer months or with a side dish of green vegetables—steamed spinach or kale, for example— in colder months


Vegetarian options


In place of porky lardons, I suggest that the best option is a veggie/vegan one. There may be a pescatarian stroke of genius, but I haven't encountered it yet. Simply substitute the lardons for chunkily sliced mushrooms and cook in the same manner as the bacon, though the overall cooking time may be reduced.


Pairings


This is a quotidian, fulfilling dish. I don't doubt it's worthy of a good pairing, but it's not one that requires it. It's great with beer, sparkling waters and a variety of everyday wines. You might naturally head in the direction of a pleasant red—and I have no problem with that—but I have also enjoyed it with certain whites such as peppery South African chenin blancs or almost mouldy Austrian gewürztraminers where a certain raisin-like depth perfectly complemented the caramelised notes in the dish.

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